Comedy for All

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Things women should tell to men but they do not

 
1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.
 
 2. The next time you and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim.
 
 3. If we're watching football with you - it's not bonding - it's their butts.
 
 4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.
 
 5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
 
 6. Please don't drive when you're not driving. 
 7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed.
 
 8. The next time you make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.
 
 9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who's easy"?
 
 10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.
 
 11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too. 
 12. We don't mind if you look in the mirror to check your appearance - in fact, please do!
 
 13. When you're out with us, please wear "our" favorite outfit rather than "yours" - the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.
 
 14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs. A negative grunt.
 
 15. Don't insist that we "get off the stupid phone" and then not talk to us.
 
 16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level... Click to read more... 
 

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Not what u want to see in a waiting room

Monday, November 21, 2011

Some Useful Infos for your Home

 
 
Take your banana apart when Take banana apart when you get home from the sin order tore.
 
If you let them plugged in at the stem, they ripen faster.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Sin order tore your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil.
 
It will remain fresh much longer and not mould!
 
 
 
Peppers with 3 bumps on the botin order tom are sweeter and better for eating.
 
Peppers with 4 bumps on the botin order tom are firmer and better for cooking.
 
 
 
In order to really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of
 
Spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream; then beat them.
 
 
 
*****************
 
 
 
Add garlic immediately in order to a recipe if you want a light taste
 
Of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.
 
 
 
 
 
Reheat Pizza
 
 
 
Heat lefin order tover pizza in a nonstick skillet on in order top of the sin order tove; set heat in order to med-low
 
And heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the food channel and it really works.
 
 
 
 
Easy Deviled Eggs
 
 
 
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal; mash till they are all broken up Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy; squeeze mixture inin order to egg. Just throw bag away when done - easy clean up.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Reheating refrigerated bread
 
 
 
In order to warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in
 
A microwave next in order to a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food Moist and help it reheat faster.
 
 
 
*****************
 
 
 
Newspaper weeds away
 
 
 
Start putting in order torn newspaper in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers,
 
Put layers around the plants, overlapping as you go; cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic; they will not get through wet newspapers.
 
 
 
*****************
 
 
 
Broken Glass
 
 
 
Use a wet cotin order ton ball or Q-tip in order to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Flexible vacuum
 
 
 
In order to get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper in order towel roll or empty gift wrap roll in order to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened in order to get in narrow openings.
 
 
 
*****************
 
 
 
Reducing Static Cling
 
 
 
Pin a small safety pin in order to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and ... At DA! ... Static is gone.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Measuring Cups
 
 
 
Before you pour sticky substances inin order to a measuring cup, fill with hot water.
 
 
 
Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient (peanut butter, honey, etc.) and watch how easily it comes right out. ?
 
 
 
*****************
 
 
 
Foggy Windshield?
 
 
 
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
 
 
 
 
 
Reopening envelope
 
 
 
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot in order to include something inside,
 
 
 
Just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Conditioner
 
 
 
Use your hair conditioner in order to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way in order to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.
 
 
 
 
Goodbye Fruit Flies
 
 
 
In order to get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2 with Apple Cider Vinegar
 
And 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn in order to the cup and gone forever!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Get Rid of Ants
 
 
 
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it 'home,' can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

بلايك ليفلي في فستان جريء مغطي بشراشيب بيضاء

 

اصبحت الممثلة الاميركية بلايك ليفلي من ايقونات هوليوود في الاناقة بالرغم من صغر سنها وفي الامس خلال حضورها حفل مرور 100 حلقة على مسلسل "غوسب غيرل" الذي ساهم في شهرتها استطاعت ان تخطف الانظار في فستان جريء بقصة غريبة من مجموعة مارشيسا الفستان يتميز بقصة اقرب الى الفن من الامام وتكشف الكثير من لحمها حيث يتم اخفاء المنطقة الحساسة من جسدها بواسطة شراشيب بيضاء.
اما بطلة المسلسل ايضا  لايتون ميستر اختارت الظهور بشكل بسيط في فستان كريمي اللون قصير بدون اكمام وحضر الحفل ابطال المسلسل وعدد من الضيوف  لحضور الاحتفال بالحلقة المائة من مسلسل (فتاة الشائعات) في سيبرايني وول ستريت في نيويورك.
 


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Sunday, November 20, 2011

Do You Think.. She's Hot !... Funny

  
 
 


 
Do You Think.. She's Hot !...
 
Check out all images one by one...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Crazy & Weird Cap.. Next ? | Pictures

http://www.mr-funny.com/index.php/en/pictures-b/1037-crazy-a-weird-cap-next-.html

ayman

Amazing 3D Floor Painting

Best Ad Up till now look at the right side bottom - by Pam Anderson

Smart Kid do u mind wall street

New art of parking by images 2012

Some people are like clouds.. ( Funny )

ayman

From: "SOTN" <undisclosed@missing.host.name>
Sender: sometimeonthenet@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sat, 22 Oct 2011 12:35:47 +0530
Subject: [SOTN] Some people are like clouds.. ( Funny )

 

 

 
Some people are like clouds
 
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Monday, November 14, 2011

150 Love Quotes Collection..

Collection of romantic love quotes from famous authors, & other romantic sources. These love quotes are simply for showing your love. Scroll down to see the romantic love quotes.

1. Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense. ~ Helen Rowland

2. Fall not in love, therefore; it will stick to your face. ~ National Lampoon

3. Every man loves two women; one is the creation of his imagination, and the other is not yet born. ~ Khalil Gibran

4. Even when I glimpse you for a moment, my tongue is stilled as speech deserts me, while a delicate fire is beneath my skin. ~ Sappho

5. Don't spend your life with someone you can live with - spend it with someone you can't live without. ~ Anon

6. Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love. ~ Leo Buscaglia

7. How can you tell the sun not to shine, when clouds exist. How can you ask leaves not to fall when wind exists. How can you tell me not to fall in love when you exist. ~ Unknown

8. He is not a lover who does not love forever. ~ Euripides

9. Happiness is being married to your best friend. ~ Anon

10. Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be. ~ Robert Browning

11. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling love. ~ Albert Einstein

12. Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend". ~ Anon

13. From their eyelids as they glanced dripped love. ~ Hesiod

14. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. ~ Paul Boese

15. For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

16. For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. ~ Judy Garland

17. Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile. ~ Unknown

18. Don't compare our love to the flowers that only bloom on summer, instead, compare it to the river that flows forever. ~ Unknown

19. Do everything with so much love in your heart that you would never want to do it any other way. ~ Yogi Desai

20. Destiny decides who you meet in life but its only your heart that can decide who gets to stay in your life. ~ Unknown

21. A ring is round, it turns forever and that's how long we'll be together! ~ Unknown

22. A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. ~ Clarence Thomas

23. A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses. ~ Anonymous

24. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. ~ Ingrid Bergman

25. A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know. ~ Mistinguett

26. A hug is like a boomerang - you get it back right away. ~ Bil Keane

27. You're nothing short of my everything. ~ Ralph Block

28. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

29. But love is blind, and lovers cannot see The pretty follies that themselves commit. ~ William Shakespeare

30. Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. ~ Anonymous

31. Be of love (a little) more careful than of anything. ~ E E cummings

32. Be glad of life, because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars. ~ Unknown

33. Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly. ~ Rose Franken

34. And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

35. And I saw the river over which every soul must pass to reach the kingdom of heaven and the name of that river was suffering: and I saw a boat which carries souls across the river and the name of that boat was love. ~ Saint John of the Cross

36. All my soul follows you, love encircles you and I live in being yours. ~ Robert Browning

37. All I need is my one star in the sky to wish for you everday. ~ Anon

38. You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry. ~ Unknown

39. You know it's love when you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams. ~ Unknown

40. You know it's love when forever is not long enough. ~ Unknown

41. You know it's love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you're not part of their happiness. ~ Jean Zheng

42. You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip. ~ Jonathan Carroll

43. You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her. ~ Anon

44. You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. ~ Sam Keen

45. You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. ~ Wayne Dyer

46. You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. ~ Amy Carmichael

47. You are just like a Rose, a lesson of beauty, to whom a memory, but forever remembered ~ A. Neilen

48. I knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry. ~ Unknown

49. I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserved it. ~ Kyle Schmidt

50. I have never regretted falling in love with anyone. I have lived and learned from everyone I know, and loved. I would not change a thing. ~ Nancy Williams

51. I give you all my love because I truly love you, but I can't give you my soul and my heart because you'll just break it apart. ~ Unknown

52. I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you. ~ Unknown

53. I don't wish to be everything to everyone rather i would like to be something to someone. ~ Unknown

54. I don't regret the things I have done or the things I have chosen not to do because what ever I've done, I must have done something right because I ended up with you. ~ Unknown

55. I don't need to be wanted, I want to be needed. ~ Unknown

56. I do not want to make reasons for you to stay, only reasons for you to return. ~ Jonivan

57. I desire nothing more than to be in your heart until forever dies. ~ Unknown

58. Words sound stupid -- look into my eyes ~ Anonymous

59. With every kiss, I feel closer to you. So close in fact, I shall kiss you again. ~ Unknown

60. Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great. ~ Unknown

61. Who, being loved, is poor? ~ Oscar Wilde

62. Where there is no love put love, and you will find love. ~ A. Sachs

63. When I first met you I was afraid to like you, now that I like you I'm afraid to love you, now that I love you I'm afraid to lose you. ~ Unknown

64. Whatever our souls are made of, yours and mine are the same. ~ Emily Bronte

65. What I need to live has been given to me by the earth. Why I need to live has been given to me by you. ~ Unknown

66. We've grown to be one soul - two parts; our lives so intertwined that when some passion stirs your heart, I feel the quake in mine. ~ Gloria Gaither

67. We seek the comfort of another. Someone to share and share the life we choose. Someone to help us through the neverending attempt to understand ourselves. And in the end, someone to comfort us along the way. ~ Marlin Finch Lupus

68. We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh. ~ Agnes Repplier

69. We cannot beg someone to stay if they want to leave and be with someone else. We have to admit that love doesn't give us the license to own a person. This is what love means...sacrifice. ~ Unknown

70. Two souls with but a single thought, Two hearts that beat as one. ~ Fredrich Halm

71. True love stories never have endings. ~ Unknown

72. To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others. ~ Anne-Sophie Swetchine

73. To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best. ~ William M. Thackeray

74. Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. ~ Robert A. Heinlein

75. Love is not blind -- it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. ~ Rabbi J. Gordon

76. If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile. ~ Lynda Barry

77. Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love. ~ Leo Buscaglia

78. To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best. ~ William M. Thackeray

79. To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. ~ David Viscott

80. To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. ~ Mark Twain

81. To be in Love is the best way to see the life at it's best! ~ Unknown

82. To be able to say how much love, is love but little. ~ Petrarch

83. Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear,too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice,but for those who love, time is eternity. ~ Henry Van Dyke

84. There's only one place in the world I call home, and it's because you're there. ~ Unknown

85. There's always one who loves and one who lets himself be loved. ~ W. Somerset Maugham

86. There isn't any formula or method. You learn to love by loving. ~ Aldous Huxley

87. There is the same difference in a person before and after he is in love, as there is in an unlighted lamp and one that is burning. ~ Vincent Van Gogh

88. There is no remedy for love but to love more. ~ Henry David Thoreau

89. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

90. The work will wait while you show the child the rainbow but the rainbow won't wait while you do the work. ~ Unknown

91. The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. ~ G. K. Chesterton

92. The virtue of true love is not finding the perfect person, but loving the imperfect person perfectly. ~ Unknown

93. The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

94. The only abnormality is the incapacity to love. ~ Anais Nin

95. The less we look with our eyes, the more we will see with our hearts. ~ Lyndsey Albrecht

96. The important thing was to love rather than to be loved. ~ W. Somerset Maugham

97. The heart is on the left but always right. ~ Unknown

98. The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're still alive. ~ O.A. Battista

99. The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose. ~ Unknown

100. That best portion of a good man's life; his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. ~ William WordsWorth

101. Sometimes somebody says something really small and it just fits into this empty place in your heart. ~ Unknown

102. Sometimes it's hard to love someone because you're so afraid of losing them. ~ Jean Zheng

103. Sometimes I wonder if life is really worth it, then I look at your smile and I know it is. ~ Anon

104. Someone has stolen my heart and you are the highest on my list of suspects. ~ Unknown

105. Some joys are better expressed in silence as a smile holds more meaning than words. I was asked if i enjoy having you in my life..I just smiled! ~ Unknown

106. Shake hands and rancor will disappear. Give presents to each other and love each other and enmity will disappear. ~ Muhammad (PBUH)

107. Romance is like chess-one false move and you're mated. ~ Unknown

108. Perhaps LOVE is the process of me leading you gently back to yourself. ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

109. People who are sensible about love are incapable of it. ~ Douglas Yates

110. People need loving the most when they deserve it the least. ~ John Harrigan

111. One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. ~ Sophocles

112. One must learn to love and go through a good deal of suffering to get to it... and the journey is always towards the other soul... ~ D. H. Lawrence

113. One does not fall 'in' or 'out' of love. One grows in love. ~ Leo Buscaglia

114. One day you will ask me which is more important? my life or yours? I will say mine and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life. ~ Khalil Gibran

115. Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. ~ Charles M. Schulz

116. Never underestimate the amazing power of love to change hearts and mindsets. Love can even give fresh inspiration to tackle what seems to be impossible. ~ Unknown

117. Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command. ~ Alan Watts

118. Never marry but for love; but see that thou lovest what is lovely. ~ William Penn

119. More than kisses, letters mingle souls. ~ John Donne

120. Loving you is like breathing, how can I stop. ~ Unknown

121. Love leads to devotion and devotion is the key to success. ~ Anonymous

122. Love knows not its depth till the hour of separation. ~ Khalil Gibran

123. Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. ~ Jean Anouilh

124. Love is when you look into someone's eyes, and see everything you need. ~ Unknown

125. Love is when you give 60% and take 40%. ~ Unknown

126. Love is trembling happiness. ~ Khalil Gibran

127. Love is timeless, it is the memory of past, the happiness of today and the promise of tomorrow. ~ Unknown

128. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. ~ H. L. Mencken

129. Love is the only disease that makes you feel better. ~ Sam Shepard

130. Love is the fairest flower that blooms in God's Garden. ~ Anon

131. Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. ~ Robert A. Heinlein

132. Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear,too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice,but for those who love, time is eternity. ~ Henry Van Dyke

133. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

134. That best portion of a good man's life; his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. ~ William WordsWorth

135. In this world of extremes, we can only love too little. ~ Rich Cannarella

136. When I first met you I was afraid to like you, now that I like you I'm afraid to love you, now that I love you I'm afraid to lose you. ~ Unknown

137. People who are sensible about love are incapable of it. ~ Douglas Yates

138. I knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry. ~ Unknown

139. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. ~ Paul Boese

140. Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. ~ Toni Morrison

141. Love is not love until love's vulnerable. ~ Theodore Roethke

142. Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds. ~ William Shakespeare

143. Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding. ~ Bette Davis

144. Love is not blind -- it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. ~ Rabbi J. Gordon

145. Love is not about who you live with.. its about who you can't live without. ~ Aesop

146. Love is more easily demonstrated than defined. ~ Anon

147. Love is like standing in wet cement , the longer you stay the harder to leave and u can never leave without leaving your marks behind. ~ Unknown

148. Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart. ~ Unknown

149. Love is like a violin, the music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever. ~ Unknown

150. Love is like a tranquil breeze that sweeps over my soul making me whole. ~ Unknown


ayman

50 questions to ask yourself.. 

An old proverb says, "He that cannot ask cannot live". If you want answers you have to ask questions. These are 75 questions you should ask yourself and try to answer. You can ask yourself these questions right now and over the course of your life.
 
 1. Why not me? 
 2. Am I nice?
 
 3. Am I doing what I really want to do?
 
 4. What am I grateful for?
 
 5. What's missing in my life?
 
 6. Am I honest?
 
 7. Do I listen to others?
 
 8. Do I work hard?
 
 9. Do I help others?
 
 10. What do I need to change about myself?
 
 11. Have I hurt others?
 
 12. Do I complain?
 
 13. What's next for me?
 
 14. Do I have fun?
 
 15. Have I seized opportunities?
 
 16. Do I care about others?
 
 17. Do I spend enough time with my family?
 
 18. Am I open-minded?
 
 19. Have I seen enough of the world?
 
 20. Do I judge others?
 
 21. Do I take risks?
 
 22. What is my purpose?
 
 23. What is my biggest fear?
 
 24. How can I conquer that fear?
 
 25. Do I thank people enough?
 
 26. Am I successful?
 
 27. What am I ashamed of?
 
 28. Do I annoy others?
 
 29. What are my dreams?
 
 30. Am I positive?
 
 31. Am I negative?
 
 32. Is there an afterlife?
 
 33. Does everything happen for a reason?
 
 34. What can I do to change the world?
 
 35. What is the most foolish thing I've ever done?
 
 36. Am I cheap?
 
 37. Am I greedy?
 
 38. Who do I love?
 
 39. Who do I want to meet?
 
 40. Where do I want to go?
 
 41. What am I most proud of?
 
 42. Do I care what others think about me?
 
 43. What are my talents?
 
 44. Do I utilize those talents?
 
 45. What makes me happy?
 
 46. What makes me sad?
 
 47. What makes me angry?
 
 48. Am I satisfied with my appearance?
 
 49. Am I healthy?
 
 50. What was the toughest time in my life?

ayman

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Wife is a wife..

ayman

From: "Sheetal" <Undisclosed@missing.host.name>
Sender: funlok@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thu, 10 Nov 2011 14:23:32 +0530
Subject: :Wife is a wife..

 
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